My experience about reacting
I used to react a lot to my friends, and I used to say hard words to them a lot. When I was 22 years old my closest friend called Jane used to be very reactive and I also had the same habit of reacting impulsively and used bad words to insult people.
One day I said a word to her but she didn’t like it, then she said something bad to me, and I said something hurtful in response. I said an insulting word, which I can’t even mention right now! Then Jane started crying and I walked away with much pride and I didn’t mind if she was sad or not, because I didn’t want to know and be affected. I was my own person and didn’t want to depend on anyone.
After one week I went on a bus ride and I looked to my side and found Jane sitting nearby in the same bus. I gave her a wave and smiled at her, then she started crying and people in the bus started taking care of her, but she didn’t tell them why she was crying. So I felt really bad because Jane was my close friend, and I regretted that I insulted her, and I was sad with the bad word that I used before.
When I came back from my trip I went to talk to Jane and her family and told them that I insulted her and apologized to them. I told them the word used and how this made her sad. Her mom started crying when she heard the word that I used. I asked them for forgiveness. It was hard for Jane to say anything, she was just crying.
It hurt me a lot that this happened and I started thinking about our friendship and if we would ever be close again. I knew that if I don’t fix it, we could not be close friends again.
I went back home, called my mom and I told her the whole story. My mom told me to fix that habit of reacting with pride and if someone insults you or is angry with you, just keep quiet and with time that person will realize that what they are doing is hurting you. Avoid responding to someone when you are mad, because you will be using that negative energy to hurt someone.
Again she told me that when someone makes you mad, take the time to relax in order to make sure that your heart is calm, then go and talk to that person. Then it will be easy to understand each other and solve the problem without insulting each other. And she said never respond to someone when you’re mad, and also she said I know it’s hard, but keep practicing it and it will help you and your friends to have better friendships.
She told me that if someone is being reactive with you, you will feel a strong force in your heart and body. But don’t react back to that person with that negative force. It will only create more conflict between you and them.
I went back to Jane’s family and told them about all the advice my mom gave me and also what I wanted to do to fix the pain I had caused to Jane and her family. She and her parents were so happy with this. Since then I stopped insulting anyone and Jane also told me that she stopped insulting other people. In the end we all learned from each other.
Hopefully this story can help you to fix the same bad habits of being hurtful to people even if they are being wrong to you or someone you love.