Life challenges

In life we all face a lot of challenges and each challenge helps us to move forward! By considering things in a big picture we will find a solution for our daily life challenges. Each challenge has a new message or lesson for us to move forward, and it’s part of life.

For example, a friend disappointed me by forgetting something that was important to me. It was a challenge for me, but I didn’t want to reinforce my negative feelings. So I started thinking about how much my friend cares for me and how close we are with each other. I ended up feeling their love instead of feeling disappointed. I became very happy, with very good feelings about my friend.

Then I got to know that our friendship is much more important than the individual events of life. When something disappointing happens, we decide it means something very sad about our relationship, and it’s not true. But it took me some hours to recognize that. It was a challenge, but I learnt something from it.

I’m not trying to say that disappointment is a good thing, but when it happens accept that you can learn something from it.

All the challenges I have been facing are helping me to lift up my consciousness from one step to another step. You know, challenges can be part of our growth, people don’t realize it, but it’s true.

If you have any similar experience please bring it out so that we can share our daily life challenges with others.

Story about Doubt

I had a conversation with one of the students in Uganda about doubting, and I realized many people will be interested to hear about this challenge.

I asked her if she has a boyfriend? She said, “Wilson you’re funny! This is not the time for boys to mess with my life.” I knew that this student had her heart broken by a boy before, and I saw that she is afraid in her heart to try again. So I said to her that I want to talk to her a little more about boys. This is what I explained to her, maybe it will help others too.

Sometimes a person doesn’t want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend because of many reasons. One of the reasons is to avoid getting heartbroken. For example, a girl had a relationship with John and it didn’t work. Then later she had another one with Deo and it doesn’t work either. So she felt heartbroken by those two relationships, and you know how much it hurts. She wants to avoid being hurt again. This is common problem in relationships.

When people want to avoid being hurt, sometimes they end up saying that all men are the same, or all men are irresponsible, which is not true. They say that to cool their interest in boys. And they end up creating doubt in their hearts and fearing to be in a relationship anymore! Just they keep doubting and being afraid to love. Yet some men and women are faithful and responsible for their lovers. It is not right to blame them for the irresponsibility of the others.

Doubt and fear are dangerous. They hurt, too. For example, if you tell someone, “I love you,” the person who has doubt in his or her mind will answer you, “REALLY???” Instead of saying, “I love you too.”

When you put honey in your tea, you can’t take it back. It becomes part of your tea. Like that, when you doubt, it spreads in your mind and heart and becomes part of the way you think, until you are a doubtful person. But then you will have a sad life, because you will be afraid to live, and afraid to love.

Some people are ready to have a good relationship and others not, but it doesn’t mean that all people are bad, or all relationships will hurt. You see? So it’s good to take your time to get to know someone, don’t rush into relationship, but always keep hope and desire alive. Remember that many men are good and responsible for their lovers. And many women too. Always keep that positive spirit in your mind.

Spreading happiness

Last week I had a very wonderful conversation with my friend, in our conversation she said that we need to love many people as much as we can, because WE is bigger than ME. When she mentioned that that I felt so excited because the word WE uplifted my heart and her words supported my heart’s desire to love all.

I think that instead of focusing on bringing happiness to ourselves only, we should focus on spreading happiness to others. I have definitely experienced this in my own life. I am grateful to the many people who contributed to my happiness. People helped me a lot when I was facing a hard life; my life was going to be terrible without those people who helped me. That inspired me to love people. Love is the only way can bring happiness in our hearts. Love brings joy in all relationships.

God created each person in a unique way, everyone can love, everyone has a way to bring happiness to others. “I can’t” is not true, just sometimes people don’t want to be responsible for others. But that makes no one happy, not even ourselves.

That is the reason we need to be a team to bring happiness to others with our love.

Consistency

Consistency is very important in each relationship. We all want consistency from our friends. Many people are hurting each other often due to lack of consistency in their relationships.

For example, many relationships fail because of moodiness. Some people argue a lot, this also one of the causes that can make their relationship inconsistent. People are unreliable because they don’t want to depend on each other; they want to do things how they feel without depending on others.

To maintain consistency in commitment is not easy when there’s not enough love. To be a consistent friend requires self-transcendence. We need to be understanding, forgiving, patient, trusting. We need to invest time and energy often for the good of our friendship. This isn’t easy. Also no one is perfect. We all hurt our friends’ feelings and irritate them sometimes. To be consistent means to love our friends even when it’s hard. Love is not a game, and it requires a lot sacrifice to have a better relationship. That’s why some people don’t value relationships or love, because they don’t want to be responsible.

Do you have experience about consistency? Please bring it out, we can discuss it here and help each other. Together we can help the world.

Advice for better communication

This week a woman shared with me about her feelings with her boyfriend. She told me that she is going through a hard life, because her boyfriend doesn’t understand her. And both of them are facing the problem of not being on the same page. They both keep hurting each other’s feelings in one way or another. I asked her if she realized the cause why they don’t understand each other? She said, because her boyfriend doesn’t consider her feelings.

She told me that one time she picked roses and left them in his bedroom with an intention of making him happy. But when her boyfriend returned home he saw the roses and he didn’t even say anything appreciating her. She felt that the man doesn’t consider her feelings, and she wanted to give up on the relationship.

I gave her a suggestion to keep their relationship better, so they can understand each other more than before. I told her not to give up, just to keep going ahead giving him love and gifts. And sometimes to ask him, do you like my gift? Then he will tell her yes or no. If he doesn’t like it also she should ask him what he likes, then she can find a gift he likes. That way, she will show him that his feedback important to her.

Hopefully, he will learn to change his habits and give her his responses even before she asks.

Put yourself in that person’s shoes

I feel inspired to share with you all something about considering each other. We do a lot of things to make our friends happy, but sometimes we also do things that hurt their feelings. I observed one important way to be connected to each other, and have a better relationship.

Here is the way: Put yourself in that person’s shoes before saying something or doing something with that person. It will help you to understand everything you need to know about him or her and feel connected with that person.

When you put yourself in someone’s shoes, you start feeling how beautiful that person is. People would not hurt each other if they would have that consideration. For example, if someone makes a mistake and you correct him or her, then another day that person makes another mistake. Before you correct that person you need much consideration first, how is he or she going to feel? Maybe that person will think that you are judging them a lot, or you don’t appreciate what they are doing. You need to feel how the person is going to feel. Then you can correct that person without any doubt between both of you. And it may be easy for that person to fix his or her mistake.

Do you know that you can even understand a tree, what it needs? The good thing is we all know how other people feel, we can feel it. Every human being has that sense of feeling and knowing, but to use those senses is sometimes hard! That’s why sometimes we make mistakes, and people fail to be on the same page. Because they don’t want to put themselves in another person’s shoes.

Some people don’t want to pay a price for the benefit of their friends. That’s the reason why people take things for granted. For example, easy life, easy love, instead of considering people’s feelings. I think the world will be a better place if everyone would be considering one another.