I had a conversation with one of the students in Uganda about doubting, and I realized many people will be interested to hear about this challenge.
I asked her if she has a boyfriend? She said, “Wilson you’re funny! This is not the time for boys to mess with my life.” I knew that this student had her heart broken by a boy before, and I saw that she is afraid in her heart to try again. So I said to her that I want to talk to her a little more about boys. This is what I explained to her, maybe it will help others too.
Sometimes a person doesn’t want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend because of many reasons. One of the reasons is to avoid getting heartbroken. For example, a girl had a relationship with John and it didn’t work. Then later she had another one with Deo and it doesn’t work either. So she felt heartbroken by those two relationships, and you know how much it hurts. She wants to avoid being hurt again. This is common problem in relationships.
When people want to avoid being hurt, sometimes they end up saying that all men are the same, or all men are irresponsible, which is not true. They say that to cool their interest in boys. And they end up creating doubt in their hearts and fearing to be in a relationship anymore! Just they keep doubting and being afraid to love. Yet some men and women are faithful and responsible for their lovers. It is not right to blame them for the irresponsibility of the others.
Doubt and fear are dangerous. They hurt, too. For example, if you tell someone, “I love you,” the person who has doubt in his or her mind will answer you, “REALLY???” Instead of saying, “I love you too.”
When you put honey in your tea, you can’t take it back. It becomes part of your tea. Like that, when you doubt, it spreads in your mind and heart and becomes part of the way you think, until you are a doubtful person. But then you will have a sad life, because you will be afraid to live, and afraid to love.
Some people are ready to have a good relationship and others not, but it doesn’t mean that all people are bad, or all relationships will hurt. You see? So it’s good to take your time to get to know someone, don’t rush into relationship, but always keep hope and desire alive. Remember that many men are good and responsible for their lovers. And many women too. Always keep that positive spirit in your mind.