Happy Thanksgiving my friends.
I’m so thankful to have you all as my friends!!!
Friends become our chosen family!!!
Last week I had a very wonderful conversation with my friend, in our conversation she said that we need to love many people as much as we can, because WE is bigger than ME. When she mentioned that that I felt so excited because the word WE uplifted my heart and her words supported my heart’s desire to love all.
I think that instead of focusing on bringing happiness to ourselves only, we should focus on spreading happiness to others. I have definitely experienced this in my own life. I am grateful to the many people who contributed to my happiness. People helped me a lot when I was facing a hard life; my life was going to be terrible without those people who helped me. That inspired me to love people. Love is the only way can bring happiness in our hearts. Love brings joy in all relationships.
God created each person in a unique way, everyone can love, everyone has a way to bring happiness to others. “I can’t” is not true, just sometimes people don’t want to be responsible for others. But that makes no one happy, not even ourselves.
That is the reason we need to be a team to bring happiness to others with our love.
When I was born my parents gave me only one name, Agaba. It means giver. Recently, my daddy explained why he named me Agaba. He said my mom lost a kid, then both my parents believed that they are done having kids, but after awhile she got another kid. And later they got me! My daddy named me Agaba, meaning “giver,” because both of them were not expecting to have another kid. So that it was a gift from God. When my daddy shared with me this story I cried tears.
Also he told me that my mom surprised him when I was born. Both were working in the garden and my mom told him that she’s going home for few minutes, then she’ll be coming back and join him in the garden. Yet she was going to give birth at home! After giving birth to me she called my daddy to come home. When my daddy arrived home from the garden she showed him a baby! My daddy was so surprised.
When I was young, in my community we had an old man called Wilson who was kind and friendly to everyone. He had a garden of sugarcane and he was always allowing me to go and have the sugarcane I want from his garden.
He told me that whenever I want sugarcane do not hesitate to go in his garden and pick them.
He was so kind to each individual, I used to spend much time sharing with him about my problems, and he used to pay attention to me and gave me good advise how to be strong no matter how hard life is. And I was inspired to be like him, because he was a good man.
In Africa most of the people have one African name and one English name, but for me I had only an African name! When I reached eleven years old, I decided to have an English name. I went to the Church and asked the priest to baptize me with the name Wilson. I chose his name because he was an amazing man, and I loved his generosity and kindness. That’s the reason I decided Wilson to be my name.
Now I’m 37 years old. When I shared this story with my friend last week, she was so inspired and she told me to share the same story with people on my blog.
Do you like it? Enjoy reading it.
My experience about reacting
I used to react a lot to my friends, and I used to say hard words to them a lot. When I was 22 years old my closest friend called Jane used to be very reactive and I also had the same habit of reacting impulsively and used bad words to insult people.
One day I said a word to her but she didn’t like it, then she said something bad to me, and I said something hurtful in response. I said an insulting word, which I can’t even mention right now! Then Jane started crying and I walked away with much pride and I didn’t mind if she was sad or not, because I didn’t want to know and be affected. I was my own person and didn’t want to depend on anyone.
After one week I went on a bus ride and I looked to my side and found Jane sitting nearby in the same bus. I gave her a wave and smiled at her, then she started crying and people in the bus started taking care of her, but she didn’t tell them why she was crying. So I felt really bad because Jane was my close friend, and I regretted that I insulted her, and I was sad with the bad word that I used before.
When I came back from my trip I went to talk to Jane and her family and told them that I insulted her and apologized to them. I told them the word used and how this made her sad. Her mom started crying when she heard the word that I used. I asked them for forgiveness. It was hard for Jane to say anything, she was just crying.
It hurt me a lot that this happened and I started thinking about our friendship and if we would ever be close again. I knew that if I don’t fix it, we could not be close friends again.
I went back home, called my mom and I told her the whole story. My mom told me to fix that habit of reacting with pride and if someone insults you or is angry with you, just keep quiet and with time that person will realize that what they are doing is hurting you. Avoid responding to someone when you are mad, because you will be using that negative energy to hurt someone.
Again she told me that when someone makes you mad, take the time to relax in order to make sure that your heart is calm, then go and talk to that person. Then it will be easy to understand each other and solve the problem without insulting each other. And she said never respond to someone when you’re mad, and also she said I know it’s hard, but keep practicing it and it will help you and your friends to have better friendships.
She told me that if someone is being reactive with you, you will feel a strong force in your heart and body. But don’t react back to that person with that negative force. It will only create more conflict between you and them.
I went back to Jane’s family and told them about all the advice my mom gave me and also what I wanted to do to fix the pain I had caused to Jane and her family. She and her parents were so happy with this. Since then I stopped insulting anyone and Jane also told me that she stopped insulting other people. In the end we all learned from each other.
Hopefully this story can help you to fix the same bad habits of being hurtful to people even if they are being wrong to you or someone you love.
Jane is 34 years old and was one of my neighbors in Uganda, and we used to talk together about love. She moved to Kuwait to work and she started sharing love with her friends in Kuwait. She organized a group to talk about love and study the Cards for Living. She told me this story about the challenge she faced recently.
I had been calling Jane’s phone, and her phone was always off. And I was asking myself why is her phone off? She has my e-mail so why isn’t she writing to me? I was really worried about her, because we have never spent a month without communicating, either on phone or by e-mail.
Then, on June 25, 2014 I called her and she finally picked up the phone. She told me that she had been in jail for one month because the company where she was working didn’t follow the rules to bring people from different countries. The employees didn’t know about this and were happy to have a job. Then, suddenly one day the police closed the company and arrested the employees, including Jane.
When Jane reached the jail she met many different people, with all different cases. She was put in one large cell with 50 other people. They were all sleeping there on the floor, and each person had a little mattress and little blanket without bed sheets. She told me that it was an intense life there. For example, to take a bath they had to line up one by one until all 50 people were done.
At night all of them started sweating and couldn’t sleep so they told stories and made a lot of noise. Then, Jane came up with the idea of teaching love in jail and making a schedule of meditation every morning. They had all different religions, and all liked her idea. They started gathering to do meditation, and they took her idea to send love to those people who arrested them and the entire world. They did this every day for the whole month.
Now Jane is out of jail, but the police kept her legal documents, because the investigation is still going on. The workers have to keep reporting each week, and they are not supposed work in Kuwait just wait until they deport them back to their counties.
When I spoke with her on the phone, her spirit was so strong. After her difficult experience in jail, and now living every day with uncertainty, she might be unhappy and afraid, but she is not! She was feeling good because of her beautiful mission in jail.
Love heals the one who loves.
In Uganda, my family didn’t allow me to wash dishes because I was very busy and they wanted to take care of me. So I never washed dishes before I came to America.
My first day in the household where I live now, I was so inspired to see people washing plates all together after dinner. I watched them for ten minutes, and I got inspired to join them, everyone was busy washing plates and cleaning the kitchen as a team with much love. Now I like to wash plates, and I am good at it.
Friendship is a great thing. It expands us to see things our friends do, or new ways to think or do things. Because of love, we want to do things we would otherwise not want to do.