Storing Hope

Stories about love to restore hope in people's hearts


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Love is the only solution

Love is the only solution for all problems. This was my experience when I was facing a hard life, because I was born in a poor family, and I was not able to live with my parents. But my mom taught me how to love and the importance of love, and I had nothing else. So I used love to solve all my problems.

For example, when I moved into the city of Kampala in Uganda, I bought a piece of property and the city approved my land and put the landmarks around, showing where my property ends.

After a few days, my neighbor crossed over my landmarks and started using three meters of my land. Three meters in the city is very expensive, someone can start a business on that piece of land.

I told my neighbor that he crossed the landmark and took part of my land. He didn’t agree with what I was saying and he insisted that he knew where the landmarks stopped. I thought about what I should do. I decided having a good relationship with my neighbor is more valuable than three meters of land. So I forgave my neighbor in my heart and did my best to be a good friend to him.

After 6 months he came to my house early in the morning, and he said, “I need to talk to you Wilson.” Then we moved out and we sat outside. He apologized to me and said, “I made a mistake to cross the landmarks. I see how good you are, so I’d like you to take back your three meters which I had stolen from you.” Then we hugged each other and we were very happy to be very close neighbors.

I solved that problem by using love, instead of taking him to court. Love was a much better solution. Even if I will be taking him to court, I can make him refund my land; but he will not stop being mean to other people, and he will not be happy with me. So, more problems would come. But people won’t mean things when they love each other.

I encourage you to use love to solve your problems too.


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Consistency

Consistency is very important in each relationship. We all want consistency from our friends. Many people are hurting each other often due to lack of consistency in their relationships.

For example, many relationships fail because of moodiness. Some people argue a lot, this also one of the causes that can make their relationship inconsistent. People are unreliable because they don’t want to depend on each other; they want to do things how they feel without depending on others.

To maintain consistency in commitment is not easy when there’s not enough love. To be a consistent friend requires self-transcendence. We need to be understanding, forgiving, patient, trusting. We need to invest time and energy often for the good of our friendship. This isn’t easy. Also no one is perfect. We all hurt our friends’ feelings and irritate them sometimes. To be consistent means to love our friends even when it’s hard. Love is not a game, and it requires a lot sacrifice to have a better relationship. That’s why some people don’t value relationships or love, because they don’t want to be responsible.

Do you have experience about consistency? Please bring it out, we can discuss it here and help each other. Together we can help the world.


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Honest brings unity in all relationships

Learning is a continuing process throughout life. Every day we are learning things from each other, especially in our closest relationships. Friendship requires honesty to have a better friendship and real love. Sometimes we learn this from our mistakes.

I would like to share with you all a recent example. Last week I made a mistake with my friend. When she pointed out the mistake I made, immediately I said, “Sorry.” But it was not a sincere apology from the bottom of my heart! Just I said sorry for the purpose of cutting her conversation short, to avoid feeling the mistake I made. Yet it will be better to me to feel it, and fix that mistake, instead of saying sorry without a good reason. I was not honest with her.

Sometimes we try to protect ourselves, without consideration of others. I see it from my own experience. I tried to protect my feelings, but it hurt my friend’s feelings. We all face this same challenge, I hope my story will help people who face a similar challenge to understand and correct that problem for the benefit of the world.Love


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How I Got the Name Wilson

When I was born my parents gave me only one name, Agaba. It means giver. Recently, my daddy explained why he named me Agaba. He said my mom lost a kid, then both my parents believed that they are done having kids, but after awhile she got another kid. And later they got me! My daddy named me Agaba, meaning “giver,” because both of them were not expecting to have another kid. So that it was a gift from God. When my daddy shared with me this story I cried tears.

Also he told me that my mom surprised him when I was born. Both were working in the garden and my mom told him that she’s going home for few minutes, then she’ll be coming back and join him in the garden. Yet she was going to give birth at home! After giving birth to me she called my daddy to come home. When my daddy arrived home from the garden she showed him a baby! My daddy was so surprised.

When I was young, in my community we had an old man called Wilson who was kind and friendly to everyone. He had a garden of sugarcane and he was always allowing me to go and have the sugarcane I want from his garden.

He told me that whenever I want sugarcane do not hesitate to go in his garden and pick them.

He was so kind to each individual, I used to spend much time sharing with him about my problems, and he used to pay attention to me and gave me good advise how to be strong no matter how hard life is. And I was inspired to be like him, because he was a good man.

In Africa most of the people have one African name and one English name, but for me I had only an African name! When I reached eleven years old, I decided to have an English name. I went to the Church and asked the priest to baptize me with the name Wilson. I chose his name because he was an amazing man, and I loved his generosity and kindness. That’s the reason I decided Wilson to be my name.

Now I’m 37 years old. When I shared this story with my friend last week, she was so inspired and she told me to share the same story with people on my blog.

Do you like it? Enjoy reading it.

Wilson Agaba


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Put yourself in that person’s shoes

I feel inspired to share with you all something about considering each other. We do a lot of things to make our friends happy, but sometimes we also do things that hurt their feelings. I observed one important way to be connected to each other, and have a better relationship.

Here is the way: Put yourself in that person’s shoes before saying something or doing something with that person. It will help you to understand everything you need to know about him or her and feel connected with that person.

When you put yourself in someone’s shoes, you start feeling how beautiful that person is. People would not hurt each other if they would have that consideration. For example, if someone makes a mistake and you correct him or her, then another day that person makes another mistake. Before you correct that person you need much consideration first, how is he or she going to feel? Maybe that person will think that you are judging them a lot, or you don’t appreciate what they are doing. You need to feel how the person is going to feel. Then you can correct that person without any doubt between both of you. And it may be easy for that person to fix his or her mistake.

Do you know that you can even understand a tree, what it needs? The good thing is we all know how other people feel, we can feel it. Every human being has that sense of feeling and knowing, but to use those senses is sometimes hard! That’s why sometimes we make mistakes, and people fail to be on the same page. Because they don’t want to put themselves in another person’s shoes.

Some people don’t want to pay a price for the benefit of their friends. That’s the reason why people take things for granted. For example, easy life, easy love, instead of considering people’s feelings. I think the world will be a better place if everyone would be considering one another.


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My experience about reacting

My experience about reacting

I used to react a lot to my friends, and I used to say hard words to them a lot. When I was 22 years old my closest friend called Jane used to be very reactive and I also had the same habit of reacting impulsively and used bad words to insult people.

One day I said a word to her but she didn’t like it, then she said something bad to me, and I said something hurtful in response. I said an insulting word, which I can’t even mention right now! Then Jane started crying and I walked away with much pride and I didn’t mind if she was sad or not, because I didn’t want to know and be affected. I was my own person and didn’t want to depend on anyone.

After one week I went on a bus ride and I looked to my side and found Jane sitting nearby in the same bus. I gave her a wave and smiled at her, then she started crying and people in the bus started taking care of her, but she didn’t tell them why she was crying. So I felt really bad because Jane was my close friend, and I regretted that I insulted her, and I was sad with the bad word that I used before.

When I came back from my trip I went to talk to Jane and her family and told them that I insulted her and apologized to them. I told them the word used and how this made her sad. Her mom started crying when she heard the word that I used. I asked them for forgiveness. It was hard for Jane to say anything, she was just crying.

It hurt me a lot that this happened and I started thinking about our friendship and if we would ever be close again. I knew that if I don’t fix it, we could not be close friends again.

I went back home, called my mom and I told her the whole story. My mom told me to fix that habit of reacting with pride and if someone insults you or is angry with you, just keep quiet and with time that person will realize that what they are doing is hurting you. Avoid responding to someone when you are mad, because you will be using that negative energy to hurt someone.

Again she told me that when someone makes you mad, take the time to relax in order to make sure that your heart is calm, then go and talk to that person. Then it will be easy to understand each other and solve the problem without insulting each other. And she said never respond to someone when you’re mad, and also she said I know it’s hard, but keep practicing it and it will help you and your friends to have better friendships.

She told me that if someone is being reactive with you, you will feel a strong force in your heart and body. But don’t react back to that person with that negative force. It will only create more conflict between you and them.

I went back to Jane’s family and told them about all the advice my mom gave me and also what I wanted to do to fix the pain I had caused to Jane and her family. She and her parents were so happy with this. Since then I stopped insulting anyone and Jane also told me that she stopped insulting other people. In the end we all learned from each other.

Hopefully this story can help you to fix the same bad habits of being hurtful to people even if they are being wrong to you or someone you love.


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Love Thy Neighbor-Personal Experience

“Love Thy Neighbor”

I would like to share with you all an experience I had with my neighbor. Sometimes if you be patient with a person, the goodness within them comes out…

When I moved into the city of Kampala in Uganda, I bought a piece of property and the city approved my land and put the landmarks around, showing where my property ends.

After a few days, my neighbor crossed over my landmarks and started using three meters of my land. Three meters in the city is very expensive, someone can start a business on that piece of land.

I told him that he crossed the landmark and took part of my land. He didn’t agree with what I was saying and he insisted that he knew where the landmarks stopped.

I went back in my house and I was thinking about what I could do. I came up with the idea to assume that he is a good neighbor, and three meters are not more important than being good neighbors. I started thinking about the importance of being a good neighbor, because before I got this house me and him used to cooperate and share wheelbarrows, shovels etc. We had a very close friendship. That’s why I decided to not go into conflict with him and let him take the three meters.

I didn’t stop talking to him or sharing things as we used to, and our friendship continued and we didn’t have any conflict. And since then we continued with our new life and everything was going on well.

After 6 months he came to my house early in the morning, and he said, “I need to talk to you Wilson.” Then we moved out and we sat outside. He apologized to me and said, “I made a mistake to cross the landmark and I see how good you are, so I’d like you to take back your three meters which I had stolen from you.” Then we hugged each other and we were very happy to be very close neighbors.

The reason why I wanted to share this story with all of you is that maybe one time it can happen to you that somebody does something wrong to you, so you will consider what you can do to keep friendship alive and trust in the goodness of that person, instead of just being angry and creating more conflict.

Healthy Dependence


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Depending on each other

When I was in Uganda I used to communicate with a friend named John on Facebook for about a year and a half. I knew that he lived somewhere in the USA, but not exactly where. We used to talk about how we can take care of other people and be more loving to people ourselves. When I moved to the USA I found out that John was living in a nearby town! I went to visit him and we had a great time together and we talked about all the things we used to talk about, but now in person! All his family members were also very happy to see us having a good time together. We started visiting each other regularly, and our friendship grew.

I told John and his family about my experiences of teaching love in schools and communities in Uganda, and I gave them a set of Cards for Living. They were so happy and they asked me if they could pick one card so that we can read it together and talk about it in our next meeting. I agreed and we planned to have another meeting to read the cards and share our experiences together.

Last week we had our meeting and we shared the card called Healthy Dependence. We talked about how we need to depend on each other, because we all have different skills and so we need to work together if we want to make beautiful things happen. John and his wife Terry gave examples of all the people they depend on and how much they appreciate those people. And how good it is that they can depend on each other.

We had a really great time and they wanted to keep having a group discussion two times a month, which was very inspiring to me.

Below is the text from the card that we shared: I hope this will inspire you as much as it did us.

HEALTHY DEPENDENCE

Healthy dependence is a mutuality in which I depend on you and you depend on me. I am reliable for you,and you’re reliable for me. We depend on each other wisely and appropriately—not irresponsibly.

In a healthy dependence, we learn how to make use of each other, how to serve each other, and how to be served by each other. You learn what your partner’s strengths are, and they learn yours. You use their strengths, and that validates them, strengthens them, and brings out the best in them. Healthy mutual dependence strengthens everyone involved, because when someone needs us, we have reason to be strong and good and responsible. And when someone nurtures us and takes care of us, we draw strength from that, too.

Healthy dependence is a wonderful experience. The happiness of togetherness, the strength that comes from it — the wind in our sails, the lightness of step and fullness of heart. And of course, we’ve all experienced the superior effectiveness of teamwork, when many hands make light the work. Emotionally and practically, life works better when we’re in it together.

We bring out the best in each other. Only in the context of trust and mutual love will we share our most beautiful, personal, and touching qualities. We need people to inspire us, desire us, need us, make demands on us, bring out the best in us, or most of who we are will not be expressed.

A mother is tender, soft, compassionate — but without her child, that sweetness would not have come out. A friend gets to be loyal and constant because their friend needs that. The heart is full of passion, but without someone to invite you, ignite you, excite you, your wonderful feelingness remains unexpressed, unexplored, and unknown.

We have good reason to be dependable. The truth is, we find our homes in one another. We depend on each other’s feeding and care; we depend on love, on relationship. We sometimes want to think of ourselves as unaffected, but if our relationship is going poorly, we are endlessly bothered; and if our lover or spouse doesn’t give us enough love, we’re unhappy. We can’t help it. In contrast, when our relationship is flourishing, we’re happy, strong, full of energy.

We all need the nurturance of being loved, and the happiness of loving. But the only way to have love reliably is to be reliable for others, otherwise they won’t open up to you, or stay close to you. The love you take is equal to the love you make. So give the love, care, and commitment you want and need from others. Then you can be part of an endless circle of love.

Healthy Dependence

Healthy Dependence card


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Story about inspiration

In Uganda, my family didn’t allow me to wash dishes because I was very busy and they wanted to take care of me. So I never washed dishes before I came to America.

My first day in the household where I live now, I was so inspired to see people washing plates all together after dinner. I watched them for ten minutes, and I got inspired to join them, everyone was busy washing plates and cleaning the kitchen as a team with much love. Now I like to wash plates, and I am good at it.

Friendship is a great thing. It expands us to see things our friends do, or new ways to think or do things. Because of love, we want to do things we would otherwise not want to do.

 


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Teaching kids about love in Uganda

Teaching Unification

When I was in Uganda, I had four schools where I used to go and share with the students about love.

I used to visit each school once a week, and within one year I had already made a big difference on those four schools. Many students benefited from my teachings because they were lacking in awareness about love and when I started teaching them how to love, most of them started to be open with their friends and their families about their own challenges.

Some of their parents started appreciating me for the big difference I made to their kids. For example, the kids became more responsible in their families.

I feel proud of the mission I did in Uganda. The seed I planted in those students, it will keep growing in them. And those students will keep planting the same seed in their friends by sharing love in their families and with their friends.

You know people keep on moving from one place to another, which means my seed of love also will keep on moving with those kids in different countries and they will share it with other people.

Here is a link to the non profit website showing more information: WUTU – World Unification Team Uganda.

Below is a letter from one of the kids in Uganda. I include the original letter and below it a typed copy to help you read it.

Patience to Wilson

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Hello Wilson,

Thank you for the let you sent me, because it gave me hope that life can really be interesting even though you are not done with education as long as you possess love in your heart.

Do you know that I had not realized that before? I confess that before in my life, I never beloved anyone not even myself. I hated my siblings, my dad and my family. I always got pissed, got angry with them and I could not care much about them. As long as they were alive I even prayed to God to let me be alone, far away from my family, friends and remain on my own.

That’s maybe because I always thought I had no purpose to them, I at times felt that I couldn’t fit in the family. I resented them and even thought my dad wasn’t my real one! However after your letter it made me think a lot and realize that in this world I have to possess love, love everyone not minding about the health, status or how that person looks like.

I have to love all people without discriminating. Wow!!! That’s so fun, loving is fun. I even learnt how to love my self, my family, my friends, God and everyone.

Thanks a lot for that letter bambi, because it really changed me. Really love drives this world. So I will let the world know about the advantages of loving, caring, and doing charity!!!! With God’s help, I know that I will succeed in this world, so rushing to complete my education is not better than loving.

Thanks,

Patience

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If you’re interested to know more, feel free to comment.