Storing Hope

Stories about love to restore hope in people's hearts


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Cooperation

If all people in this world can learn how to share things with others, I’m sure the world will be a better place.

The world is becoming harder and harder each day, but cooperation can help people to stay together and have less worries.

I have been in touch with the jewelry makers in Kosovo Community in Uganda (mentioned in my last blog) and talking with them about how to cooperate by sharing things with each other and doing things together, and they have already started cooperating with each other.

For example, if they need to buy things from the market, all of them do not go to the market. Just they send one person to go and purchase things for all of them. That helps them to minimize the cost of transportation. Otherwise everyone will be paying for transport to go to the market for shopping. I’m so happy because they are putting my advice into action, and it is helping them.

Everyone can promote cooperation wherever he or she lives so that we can help the world. When people cooperate and share what they have, it helps them to spend less and still live well. And it helps them be happy with each others.

Cooperation is love in action, but without cooperation, people can become afraid and greedy when times are hard. For example, when people receive funds to help orphans, they use those funds in a different way! By building their own beautiful house or buying an expensive car. They are doing that, because of lack of cooperation.

This is a very big project and I know we can help many people, because life is going to be very hard in the future. Cooperation is a way of preparing for the future, because you can see where the world is heading now days!

We all need to work together for a better world. If you have any experiences about cooperation or ideas how to promote cooperation, I’d like to hear them.

We all need to work together for a better world. If you have any experiences about cooperation or ideas how to promote cooperation, I’d like to hear them.IMGP3486 Pic


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How to control anger

I had a conversation with a young man; he shared with me about his anger. He told me that he broke his arm two times since he was born. The first time his mom made him annoyed, then he punched the wall and broke his arm! After some years, also his sister made him mad. Again he punched the wall and broke his arm for the second time.

He told me that sometimes when people made him mad, he feels like wants to punch the wall or anything which is in front of him! He asked me, “What should I do to avoid that habit, Wilson?” I told him do not allow the anger to drive you. You have the power to control your anger, okay? For example, when someone makes you mad, and you feel that you want to punch anything around you, you have a choice. You can move away and think about other things, which can help your mind to calm down. He understood and agreed with me.

Then the following week someone made him mad. Immediately he moved away and he felt different and he did not punch anything! Afterward he went back and said sorry to that person who was making him mad.

When he shared with me that story, I said to him, “Good job! Keep that spirit.” We all laughed. It feels so good to control our own minds and feelings.


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Free Will

We can try to help people, but also they have to help themselves. It’s like going to the doctor. When you go to the doctor he may give you medicine, and tell you how to use it. He might say, “Take 2 tablets once in a day.”

But the doctor is not going to be at your home when you are taking those tablets. It’s your responsibility to take those tablets by following the doctor’s instructions he told you! You may even decide not to take those tablets. It’s your choice.

The patient has the responsibility of taking his or her tablets in time, according what the doctor said. Also the patient is free to throw away those tablets! Because it’s his or her choice.

When we help our friends, we are like the doctor. We can give our friends love and energy and good ideas. It is their choice to use our help or not. Our job is to love people everywhere we go, to the people we meet. Those people also have choice to love others or not.

If you have a story about free will, please share your story so we can help each other.


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What It Takes To Be You

This week a friend of mine shared with me his challenge of hurting his friends. He said that sometimes he feels his energy is low, and then he starts making careless mistakes and hurting his friends by being forgetful and thoughtless. But when his energy is high, he always doing great things and making his friends happy. That’s when he feels truly like himself.

He said that he has had that pattern for many years, and he has been working hard to change that pattern so that he can be the real “himself”’ instead of doing things he’s not proud of.

I gave him this advice to help him: he should know what it takes to be him. For example, to be Wilson, to be Jane, to be Bob, etc. , whoever you are, it requires love, commitment, and consistency to be the real YOU. When you are unloving or unreliable or inconsistent, you feel bad about yourself, and you feel you should do better than that.

Everyone has a name, but to maintain your name shining takes a lot. It requires you to transcend your pride and other bad habits, which is not easy. But you do it for the benefit of others. When you do things which are hurting people, that’s not the real you! You are not living up to your own heart’s standards. The real you has very high standards.

I asked him to do what it takes to be the real himself, then he will be able to fix that pattern of hurting his friends; then he can maintain his name shining and his friends will be proud of him. He took that point so seriously and he shook my hand!

If you have an experience or something you would like to share with other people about what it takes to be the real you, please bring it out so that we can help each other.


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Consistency

Consistency is very important in each relationship. We all want consistency from our friends. Many people are hurting each other often due to lack of consistency in their relationships.

For example, many relationships fail because of moodiness. Some people argue a lot, this also one of the causes that can make their relationship inconsistent. People are unreliable because they don’t want to depend on each other; they want to do things how they feel without depending on others.

To maintain consistency in commitment is not easy when there’s not enough love. To be a consistent friend requires self-transcendence. We need to be understanding, forgiving, patient, trusting. We need to invest time and energy often for the good of our friendship. This isn’t easy. Also no one is perfect. We all hurt our friends’ feelings and irritate them sometimes. To be consistent means to love our friends even when it’s hard. Love is not a game, and it requires a lot sacrifice to have a better relationship. That’s why some people don’t value relationships or love, because they don’t want to be responsible.

Do you have experience about consistency? Please bring it out, we can discuss it here and help each other. Together we can help the world.


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Advice for better communication

This week a woman shared with me about her feelings with her boyfriend. She told me that she is going through a hard life, because her boyfriend doesn’t understand her. And both of them are facing the problem of not being on the same page. They both keep hurting each other’s feelings in one way or another. I asked her if she realized the cause why they don’t understand each other? She said, because her boyfriend doesn’t consider her feelings.

She told me that one time she picked roses and left them in his bedroom with an intention of making him happy. But when her boyfriend returned home he saw the roses and he didn’t even say anything appreciating her. She felt that the man doesn’t consider her feelings, and she wanted to give up on the relationship.

I gave her a suggestion to keep their relationship better, so they can understand each other more than before. I told her not to give up, just to keep going ahead giving him love and gifts. And sometimes to ask him, do you like my gift? Then he will tell her yes or no. If he doesn’t like it also she should ask him what he likes, then she can find a gift he likes. That way, she will show him that his feedback important to her.

Hopefully, he will learn to change his habits and give her his responses even before she asks.

Healthy Dependence


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Depending on each other

When I was in Uganda I used to communicate with a friend named John on Facebook for about a year and a half. I knew that he lived somewhere in the USA, but not exactly where. We used to talk about how we can take care of other people and be more loving to people ourselves. When I moved to the USA I found out that John was living in a nearby town! I went to visit him and we had a great time together and we talked about all the things we used to talk about, but now in person! All his family members were also very happy to see us having a good time together. We started visiting each other regularly, and our friendship grew.

I told John and his family about my experiences of teaching love in schools and communities in Uganda, and I gave them a set of Cards for Living. They were so happy and they asked me if they could pick one card so that we can read it together and talk about it in our next meeting. I agreed and we planned to have another meeting to read the cards and share our experiences together.

Last week we had our meeting and we shared the card called Healthy Dependence. We talked about how we need to depend on each other, because we all have different skills and so we need to work together if we want to make beautiful things happen. John and his wife Terry gave examples of all the people they depend on and how much they appreciate those people. And how good it is that they can depend on each other.

We had a really great time and they wanted to keep having a group discussion two times a month, which was very inspiring to me.

Below is the text from the card that we shared: I hope this will inspire you as much as it did us.

HEALTHY DEPENDENCE

Healthy dependence is a mutuality in which I depend on you and you depend on me. I am reliable for you,and you’re reliable for me. We depend on each other wisely and appropriately—not irresponsibly.

In a healthy dependence, we learn how to make use of each other, how to serve each other, and how to be served by each other. You learn what your partner’s strengths are, and they learn yours. You use their strengths, and that validates them, strengthens them, and brings out the best in them. Healthy mutual dependence strengthens everyone involved, because when someone needs us, we have reason to be strong and good and responsible. And when someone nurtures us and takes care of us, we draw strength from that, too.

Healthy dependence is a wonderful experience. The happiness of togetherness, the strength that comes from it — the wind in our sails, the lightness of step and fullness of heart. And of course, we’ve all experienced the superior effectiveness of teamwork, when many hands make light the work. Emotionally and practically, life works better when we’re in it together.

We bring out the best in each other. Only in the context of trust and mutual love will we share our most beautiful, personal, and touching qualities. We need people to inspire us, desire us, need us, make demands on us, bring out the best in us, or most of who we are will not be expressed.

A mother is tender, soft, compassionate — but without her child, that sweetness would not have come out. A friend gets to be loyal and constant because their friend needs that. The heart is full of passion, but without someone to invite you, ignite you, excite you, your wonderful feelingness remains unexpressed, unexplored, and unknown.

We have good reason to be dependable. The truth is, we find our homes in one another. We depend on each other’s feeding and care; we depend on love, on relationship. We sometimes want to think of ourselves as unaffected, but if our relationship is going poorly, we are endlessly bothered; and if our lover or spouse doesn’t give us enough love, we’re unhappy. We can’t help it. In contrast, when our relationship is flourishing, we’re happy, strong, full of energy.

We all need the nurturance of being loved, and the happiness of loving. But the only way to have love reliably is to be reliable for others, otherwise they won’t open up to you, or stay close to you. The love you take is equal to the love you make. So give the love, care, and commitment you want and need from others. Then you can be part of an endless circle of love.

Healthy Dependence

Healthy Dependence card