When I was in Uganda (Africa) recently I learned something important from the students I met with. I was holding meetings often with students in different places and most of them were interested to share their problems with me. It was hard to solve their problems, but I decided to listen to them and let them express their feelings without me giving them my ideas.
Yes, I felt their problems so deeply, but I felt that needed to listen to them when they were sharing with me their problems instead of giving them my solutions. Later on, I asked them why don’t you share your problems with your parents or guardians? Most of them had the same answer by saying that our parents are always giving us solutions without listening to us express our feelings. That means some of the students don’t get enough attention to share more deeply their problems with the parents or guardians because of parents giving them quick solutions.
I used to do the same, but since then I learned to help them in the form of listening to people instead of coming up with my solutions. Often, after I listened to them they later came back and told me they were able to solve their problem.
I felt as if I did nothing to support them, but the students were appreciating me for listening to them.
Most of them said that it was a new experience for them being listened to. So I got to know that sometimes people want our attentions more than solutions. What do you think?
November 29, 2017 at 4:33 am
I think women deff want people to just listen. That helps them so much. Men can be hard to let out their feelings but I do believe men also want people to listen to them. I think it helps me heal and cope.
LikeLiked by 4 people
December 2, 2017 at 11:34 pm
Thank you so much for the beautiful comment with full of consideration about people’s feelings. I’m so happy to hear that my story helped you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 29, 2017 at 1:59 pm
This is such an important skill ~ to just listen, especially with teenagers and young adults although all of us need a sounding board from time to time. Voicing problems reveals them in a different light and it is so good for the person to find their own solutions if they can. You have learnt the hardest lesson though. Thought provoking, thanks.
LikeLiked by 3 people
December 2, 2017 at 11:33 pm
Thank you so much for an encouraging comment. I agree with you, listening helps people find their own solutions if they can and are willing. Also sometimes people want to share their problems with others, but it doesn’t mean that they are seeking for solutions from them.
LikeLike
November 29, 2017 at 4:44 pm
We are living in a world that has no time for an experience but asks for quick answers. But what we miss is the development. And we can only achieve this through our personal way to deal with our problems. There is no general solution for each problem but as many as there are beings in this world.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 2, 2017 at 11:32 pm
Erika, thank you for taking your time to share your thoughts about the world and what we are missing in this world. Your comment has a lesson to learn for the benefit of others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 3, 2017 at 2:37 pm
It is of such great value that you are sharing your experiences, Wilson. This one is so important. Thank you very much!!
LikeLike
December 4, 2017 at 3:17 am
You’re welcome, thank you for your support!
LikeLike
December 4, 2017 at 6:32 pm
It is wonderful to witness what you are doing for others from all your heart. Thank you, Wilson!!
LikeLike
December 4, 2017 at 11:59 pm
Erika, your comment made my day!!! Thank you for being kind and good friend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 5, 2017 at 8:02 pm
And that made my day… I am grateful you consider me as a friend, Wilson!!
LikeLike
December 5, 2017 at 9:47 pm
You ARE, and an important friend of mine!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 6, 2017 at 6:26 am
Thank you very much. I appreciate you and your friendship very much, Wilson!
LikeLike
December 6, 2017 at 10:28 pm
I do always appreciate you too. Thank you for being kind, bless your heart.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 7, 2017 at 3:09 pm
Very lovely!
LikeLike
December 7, 2017 at 9:34 pm
Wow, thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 8, 2017 at 1:41 pm
😊
LikeLike
December 8, 2017 at 8:01 pm
I loved it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 30, 2017 at 7:46 pm
This is magnificent. I’m so glad that I read this post. I’m doing a program called “Consciousness, Health and Healing”, and one of the most important counseling skills is heart-centered listening. Deeply being heard – from my point of view – is one of the most healing things we can do.
If you are interested, I would like to invite you to contribute this post to Forgiving Fridays. It’s a blog that I do each week to invite readers to post about forgiveness and share it. If you’d like to contribute, please add #ForgivingFridays to your tags & also include a pingback to my most recent post. (Here is the link if helpful: https://forgivingconnects.com/2017/11/24/todays-forgiving-fridays-freedom-and-forgiveness/)
Acceptance, listening, breathing, forgiving — all such simple keys to awareness. Thank you for your blog.
Blessings,
Debbie
LikeLiked by 2 people
December 2, 2017 at 11:31 pm
This is really an important topic, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. Bless your heart!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 11, 2017 at 1:00 am
Absolutely agree. Sometimes listening creates wonders. Just venting it out Calms the mind and rests the soul. Wonderful work.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 11, 2017 at 9:31 pm
Thank you for understanding what it means and the way how you explained it’s really wonderful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 11, 2017 at 6:14 pm
I completely agree, Wilson. I think sometimes people are just too quick in giving their opinions and what they think may resolve the problems when in reality many people just want to vent or be heard.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 11, 2017 at 9:42 pm
True, I used to have quick solutions too! But it didn’t help! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with others!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 17, 2017 at 1:43 am
I know the power of listening, but as a parent, I need reminders. Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 17, 2017 at 3:04 am
I really understanding what you’re talking about and we all need reminders sometimes! Thank you for being open.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 17, 2017 at 3:20 am
🙂
LikeLike
December 18, 2017 at 9:22 pm
Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 20, 2017 at 3:00 pm
Hi Wilson
This subject is especially relevant to the aging process. Having reached a milestone of senior citizen ‘status’, I am better equipped to serve the literary world as a writer,editor,and artist, but in real everyday life, I feel as if I am disappearing in terms of being heard as having a valuable opinion. Patronizing comments are hardly equivalent to genuine praise. The world once honored the elders and now it seems we (elders) are expected to put out to pasture at a vibrant time when sharing and passing on wisdom would be so welcome on both sides.
Thank you for visiting my blog and introducing me to yours.
Veronica
LikeLiked by 2 people
December 20, 2017 at 9:38 pm
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. We all need each other for to support the world. I do appreciate your words of wisdom!
LikeLike
December 23, 2017 at 6:13 pm
Ya afcaurse. …listening is better thn instead solution. …always. ..
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 23, 2017 at 6:15 pm
Thank you so much for the supportive comment!
LikeLike
December 23, 2017 at 6:15 pm
You are welcome! wilsonagaba 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 23, 2017 at 6:19 pm
Thank you for taking your time to read my stories and I do appreciate your comments!
LikeLike
December 28, 2017 at 11:05 pm
Nice BLOG!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 28, 2017 at 11:44 pm
Thanks a lot!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 28, 2017 at 11:51 pm
Your blog is so wonderful too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
January 3, 2018 at 5:37 am
Listening is indeed important, which lacks in most of the human beings. Anyway it was great reading your experience and your blog is really amazing 😁
LikeLike
January 4, 2018 at 12:52 am
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment with full of understanding about listening. Your comment made me happy, thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
January 4, 2018 at 6:05 am
I am glad you are happy 🙂
LikeLike
January 5, 2018 at 3:45 am
Yes I did. Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
January 11, 2018 at 1:13 pm
Listening is such an important part of the communication and often ignored. If only we had a little more. Patience too but people these days give opinions and advices a the time but not a ear.
LikeLiked by 1 person
January 11, 2018 at 1:15 pm
Apologies for the typo and punctuation error. This is what I meant to write…. If only we had a little more patience too. People these days give opinions and advices all the time but not a ear.
LikeLiked by 1 person
January 12, 2018 at 8:54 pm
Your apology is accepted, I made a lot of mistakes too! Who doesn’t make mistakes? Thank you for being kind!
LikeLike
January 12, 2018 at 8:52 pm
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. I really appreciate your understanding about communication!
LikeLike
January 16, 2018 at 6:19 am
You are listening someone is also a help by you.
LikeLike
January 16, 2018 at 9:21 pm
I agree with you, thanks!
LikeLike
January 17, 2018 at 2:06 am
😃
LikeLike
January 17, 2018 at 9:41 pm
Great!
LikeLike
January 21, 2018 at 2:36 pm
Bless and Thank You! I feel you are so very true when you say Listen is so important. I use to be such a good Listener. Many people always said that I was a good listener. I have gotten away from that in recent years. Now/Today, I have so much in my heart to share with others, that I forget to listen. I was much happier as a listener!
.
Your post here is very valuable to me. I am grateful to you. Did you know…. When you take the word Listen and rearrange the letters, you get Silent. Be Silent and Listen!
.
Thank you for finding and following me. I will gladly follow you back.
LikeLike
January 22, 2018 at 9:15 pm
Thank you for sharing with me your experience about listening. I do value your words a lot!
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 3, 2018 at 8:53 pm
I used to live and work in Uganda many years ago. I think listening to someone will help them figure out the solutions that are best for them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 5, 2018 at 3:00 am
Thank you for understanding, I went back to visit recently and many people were interested with the idea of listening! I came back to the USA but I keep in touch with them too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 9, 2018 at 10:05 pm
Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here and commented:
Great post! He a very giving man and loves America and Uganda. M
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 10, 2018 at 10:31 pm
Thank you so much for blogging my post, what you did mean a lot to me!!! Bless your heart!
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2018 at 4:34 am
I agree 100%! If more people took the time to listen the world would be a much better place!
LikeLike
February 21, 2018 at 9:33 pm
Thank you for your sportive comment with full of courage!
LikeLiked by 1 person