This week a friend of mine shared with me his challenge of hurting his friends. He said that sometimes he feels his energy is low, and then he starts making careless mistakes and hurting his friends by being forgetful and thoughtless. But when his energy is high, he always doing great things and making his friends happy. That’s when he feels truly like himself.
He said that he has had that pattern for many years, and he has been working hard to change that pattern so that he can be the real “himself”’ instead of doing things he’s not proud of.
I gave him this advice to help him: he should know what it takes to be him. For example, to be Wilson, to be Jane, to be Bob, etc. , whoever you are, it requires love, commitment, and consistency to be the real YOU. When you are unloving or unreliable or inconsistent, you feel bad about yourself, and you feel you should do better than that.
Everyone has a name, but to maintain your name shining takes a lot. It requires you to transcend your pride and other bad habits, which is not easy. But you do it for the benefit of others. When you do things which are hurting people, that’s not the real you! You are not living up to your own heart’s standards. The real you has very high standards.
I asked him to do what it takes to be the real himself, then he will be able to fix that pattern of hurting his friends; then he can maintain his name shining and his friends will be proud of him. He took that point so seriously and he shook my hand!
If you have an experience or something you would like to share with other people about what it takes to be the real you, please bring it out so that we can help each other.